I’m still five years seizure free, almost six years. I’m working, taking classes online and I’m exercising every day so I think everything is going pretty well.

Suddenly yesterday I get a bombshell dropped on me, the pharmaceutical company that has been providing me my epilepsy medicine for over four years won’t cover my most expensive medicine anymore.

What?! I thought that couldn’t happen but it did.

After a stressful afternoon yesterday and some very long phone calls today, I was able to get some aid to pay for them but it was scary there for like a day. After all the hard work I have done and as safe as I feel now, I had forgotten how fragile I can be without the right medication.

It’s scary to think about that, how everything I have worked so hard for over the last five years can just be taken away without the medication. I control it if I take it or not once it’s in my hands, but what happens when it’s not in my hands?

Then I start thinking about the seizures. Knowing what is happening to your body but not being able to do anything about it. Wanting to get up and stop your leg from moving but not being able to control it, not being able to speak when all you want to do is yell. I can’t start having seizures again, I just can’t.

Exercising really helped to let all that anger, stress and frustration out. After I got on the bicycle, did a 25 minute video, walked and ran, I felt better. I was still scared and worried but I let all the anger out. I knew when I was thinking clearly I would be able to calmly talk to someone and find a way to get the medicine.

Today, after a good night’s sleep, I called the insurance company and got all the information from them and then called the pharmaceutical company and found a way they could help me. I solved the problem calmly, without losing my temper and I can sleep well tonight because I will get my medication.

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