I found what I wrote two years ago, today. I was still having trouble with the fact that my friends were moving on with their lives and I wasn’t; or I felt like I wasn’t. I still get these feelings sometimes, but I need help remembering that I have moved on with my life, just in a different direction; and I have made new friends along the way.
I thought that I had lost my friends but I did not loose them. I know they are still there; our lives are just going in different directions. This is just one of the many things that change after you go through an accident or any other unexpected change in your life, they are still there. I am not mad at them, or was ever mad at them, I just missed them and had to let all of this out.
I have been getting my life back together. Trying my hardest to improve so I can go back to school next year, and I have made a lot of progress but the only thing that hurts and is making this hard is having lost a lot of people who I thought were my friends. I understand that things change when you’re not in school anymore but some people just act like they didn’t know you. Like you just don’t exist. That really hurts.
But I have gotten better without their help. I just need to remember that and I do have people who care. I just feel bad for them because they are the one’s who are loosing a good friend. It is sad. How would they feel if they were in my situation? They wouldn’t think it’s so great to loose friends.
I could never do that to someone, and it is sad to see how people can be that mean. But really, I don’t need them. I have enough good friends that are still there. Those who just run away don’t know what they had or what they lost. It makes me angry but in the end, they are the one’s who are losing friends.
I cannot be mad about my situation because it helped me learn a lot. And I have learned a lot about myself too. I have come to learn that I am much stronger than I thought. I have been through a lot and yes, I have some people who have put me down, but I have even more people rooting for me and standing behind me, ready to catch me if I fall. Those are the people to hold on to, not the people who put me down. They are just not worth it. And they don’t know what they are losing.
It my sound like I am too sure of myself, and I didn’t use to think this way but I have been forced to. If I’m not sure of myself and if I’m not positive I will just break down. I have come all this way, have so many people behind me, and have so many people to show that I can do it, that I can’t break down. I have a goal and I will get there.
I have come to think about my whole situation, not as a curse, like I used to, but as a blessing. It has made me a stronger person, with more drive, and way more goals, something to show the world and I have learned a lot. I have my family, real friends, all the new people I have met and all the other people who have just been cheering me on. They have all helped me in different ways, and I am thankful to all of them.