I’m never letting go again

Today, we took our dogs for their daily walk, but we took a different route. Instead of starting next to the avenue, like we usually do,  we decided to walk next to the highway which is one street down from the avenue. As we were walking we realized that the sidewalk down there is not in the best shape so it’s not really the most comfortable place to walk our dogs. 

Sandy was pulling on the leash so she could catch up to Indy and she pulled to much that I let go of the leash. I looked down, the leash was on the floor and Sandy was lose.  I let out  a scream and froze, I didn’t know what to do, I was just looking at the highway, afraid that if I did anything she might start running, as if it was a game, and wander off into the highway. My mom let out another scream that made me react and start moving so she didn’t run into the street. As I started to run behind her, my mom moved faster and stepped on her leash so she didn’t run away.

Once I had the leash I pulled her in my arms like a baby and hugged her while I calmed down. When I first noticed my puppy was loose next to the highway I thought I had just lost her and I can’t lose her, I can’t lose either one of my puppies.

I get nervous something will happen to them when my parents take them for a walk without me but I think they’re safer with them than with me. I thought I had gotten over, or mostly over my fear of cars and crossing streets but I haven’t. That fear, while walking two puppies who are always in a race of who goes first or just fighting (playing), is really not a good combination.

I thought most of my trouble walking them was due to the way I was holding the leash,  across my wrist and then holding on to it,

but I was told that’s not the right way to hold it. I should just hold it it my hand.

But holding it this way, I let go of my dog today because she was pulling on the leach and it just slipped away.  I can’t do that ever again so I don’t care if they say wrapping it around my wrist is the right way or not, it’s the right way for me. I can’t let go of my dog again. I keep thinking about what could have happened, what if my dog had run to the street, what if we didn’t catch the leash? I said it from the first time I heard about the right way to hold the leash, I can easily drop the leash that way and I don’t trust in myself holding the leash that way and I can’t let go of my dog again.