A wonderful summer just ended, a summer that was full of new experiences and fun next to an awesome person who I thought cared for me and felt the same way about me as I did about him. But summer doesn’t last more than just a few months and sometimes feelings don’t either. At the end of a few great months, I have to sadly go back and face reality.
Now it just seems that I was fooled by a childish summer romance, one that was exciting and fun but I thought could have been and wanted to be a lot more. I did not expect this relationship to only last four months and I thought he didn’t either. I thought this would be a serious and long relationship, especially as we had both met each other’s family and both got along with them and had even mentioned taking some trips together.
Then again, I am still pretty new to the world of romance and relationships, having just come back to it one year ago, eleven years after a brain injury. I have made great improvements during these last eleven years but not everyone can understand or deal with my very bad memory and very little attention span, which can sometimes seem like lack of interest but are just a result of this traumatic event. During these twelve years since the accident I have made great improvements and dealt with a lot of physical pain, which I am now able to handle well with a very high pain threshold. I have proven to be strong and be able to accomplish goals I set out to do.
What I’m feeling now, however, is not physical pain; it’s emotional, a much different type of pain that requires a different type of strength to deal with. This time was also different because it wasn’t all up to me. When it comes to relationships, it’s up to both people in the relationship to communicate well and work together towards the same goal. In this and most cases, that goal is to be together and build a mature lasting relationship where we both care for, understand and respect each other.
It’s not healthy for anyone in the relationship to hold things back and not be your true self out of fear, as I just learned. This just leads to sudden explosions of anger when things get difficult and you are tired, unhappy and feel let down by someone you thought you could trust.
These may seem like too many feelings to have after just four months of knowing someone but they are not when you open up to them, let them into your life, expect things from each other.
I know this is a big issue for many couples and if it is not dealt with can lead to, not just painful breakups, but also abuse. This can be physical abuse, emotional or both. This was not the case here. It was a lack of communication, which led to not understanding each other and what we both needed and no compromise. These should always be present in any relationship, whether it is between friends, family, spouses, boyfriend/girlfriend and even coworkers.
I am still sad and sorry this ended, and ended the way it did. The problem was not how different we are, our differences were one of my favorite things about us. I loved teaching and learning new things from and about each other. I think we could have handled this a lot better if we both tried and listened a little more instead of quickly getting angry or frustrated. But if it wasn’t meant to be, at least we had a lot of fun and it was a learning experience.
I still care about you, thank you for all the fun times we had and I wish you the best,
Goodbye handsome.
Unstoppable María 