Today I got some pretty bad news, I didn’t want to share this, but I need to get it out of my system. I won’t give any details because I really don’t feel very comfortable putting it all out there, but I didn’t do very well on my final project for the online class I was taking. I still don’t know what my final grade in the class is, but I don’t think it will be very good.

I thought I could do an amazing final project, I used to do well on things like this, but now it’s different, my brain doesn’t work the same way it used to. But I want it to, I still don’t want to accept this, I want to be the same girl I used to be. I want to write the same way I used to. This is what I knew how to do, not being able to do this anymore hurts more than anything. I spent my college years preparing to be a writer, I have college loans to pay, and now I can’t find a way to make a living out of what I prepared to do.

I really don’t know what to do now, I want to cry, but I don’t want to cry over a grade. I don’t know how this will affect my future in my graduate courses or my future in getting a career or at least a job. I don’t know if I will find a job that makes me happy, or any job.

Some people tell me I should just do something else, that I don’t have to do this, but I want to do this. This is what I’ve wanted for so long, I can’t think about doing anything else. I was good at this, I’ve faced obstacles but I still want to do this. I don’t know if all of these obstacles are just telling me I have to go another way or if I just have to keep trying.

I’m back where I was a few months ago, I don’t know what to do, I don’t know where to go. I’m not the same person I was three years ago, I don’t know if I’m still the person that can do this or if I will ever be that person again. I don’t know if I should just go another way, but I want to do this. I want to go on with the dram I’ve had for so long and I want to be that person again, but something out there seems to be telling me not to.

But where should I go? What should I do? Should I follow my dream? Why can’t I?

2016 help me find my way!

12 thoughts on “Should I follow my dream?

  1. Never, ever give up on your dreams, Kiki. If you do, you won’t be happy. A person without hope and dreams is not really alive, it just exits. Trust me on this.

    You’re not the same person that you were three years ago; you’re better. You’re stronger. You are a SURVIVOR. Keep going with your blog and your classes. Maybe at first you’ll have to take a job that’s not really what you want, but that happens to most people at the beginning of their professional lives. Heck, I hated my first job. But we always learn useful stuff and acquire tools that will help us in the future. And you meet new people, make contacts.

    I don’t know what else to tell you, sweetie. Just never give up. Never lose hope.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sigue luchando por tu sueño kiki, los caminos mas difíciles llevan a las metas más bonitas. Esto es solo un obstáculo para superar y crecer pero sabemos que vas a alcanzar todo lo que te propongas pq eres tremenda escritora, con experiencias que solo tu puedes contar, opiniones diferentes y un corazon gigante. Te quiero, voy a ti.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Mi querida Kiki, tu sabes lo que yo opino de tu trabajo. Para mi eres una escritora y creo como tu mami que debes continuar escribiendo tu libro. No necesitas seguir estudiando, lo que necesitas, tu lo tienes desde tu nacimiento. Ni tu accidente te lo arrebató, lo tienes. Te paciencia, tolerancia contigo persevera, y continua persiguiendo tu sueño, no desesperes, confia en Dios que todo sobre la tierra tiene su momento. Cariños.

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  4. Kiki, para escribir tan bien como tú lo haces no se necesita un título universitario, se necesita talento y lo tienes. Sigue con tu blog que ayuda a tantas personas, empieza a escribir tu libro y vamos a llevar tu resumé a periódicos, revistas, estaciones de radio y de televisión. Como dice Eric, si los periódicos ven todos los seguidores que tienes en el blog quizás te quieran dar tu espacio en el periódico, quién sabe.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Kiki, el hecho que escribes casi todos los dias en este blog quiere decir algo… tu ERES una escritora, no importa lo que te diga una clase… el hecho que tu piensas diferente ahora solo te da una perspectiva nueva a tu escritura. Tu mueves a un monton de gente todos los dias con tu blog y puedes hacer lo mismo en cualquier otro lugar donde puedas expresarte. Adentro sigues siendo la misma Kiki y con aun mas que decir. Yo voy a ti!

    Liked by 1 person

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