Today is the 5 year anniversary of waking up from a coma.
As I try to think back to the moment I woke up, I have nothing. People have told me stories about my mom and step-dad getting married that day at the hospital and I think that’s why I woke up (Happy Anniversary!) The only thing I did was look at people in the eyes, I made eye contact, sort of smiled at people, and seemed to be aware of my surroundings.
It was a joyous moment, that I wish I could remember but as hard as I try to remember, I just can’t. But I have read about other patients who can remember everything, from when they were in the coma, like dreams, to what happened when they woke up. If I’m being honest, I don’t remember anything; the night of the accident, during the coma or immediately after.
This is why I can’t really understand when I read about people describing what it felt like waking up. I know everyone’s experience is different and unique and I sometimes think about why I don’t remember anything. I wonder if I want to remember or if it’s better to not remember anything. Would that hunt my memories and be too hard to think about? Would that cause me pain or make me happy to see my friends and family there?
What do you think? (There’s no right answer, I just want to hear some opinions.)