Letting myself know that I had to keep working my butt off to get better.
I’ve started to think more and that sometimes makes me angry because I realize all of the things going on that I don’t like. Even though I do need to work on that, they tell me it is good that I feel this way because it means that I’m getting feelings back. My brain is starting to put itself back together. I get frustrated because now that I know it is getting back together, I want it to get back together now, but that does take time. And I get tired of waiting, but I’ve gotten this far. That it a huge thing because, even though I don’t realize it, I had the worst kind of TBI and doctor’s at first didn’t know how I would get better, or even if I would. So just the fact that I’m here now is a great achievement. I think people are trying to hold me back but it is all just the very long process that I have to go through. And I will keep getting better every day.
I will make mistakes, but every body makes mistakes, that it not because I had the TBI, it is because I’m human.
But no one can go through this process for me. Yes, I have a lot of help and people by my side all the way, but this is all me. Just the fact that I can keep writing is a big achievement.
I don’t like comparing myself to others and I know I really shouldn’t do it, but as this whole process has gone on, I have seen that as much as I have complained, there are people who have it worse than I do and I really shouldn’t complain. Yeah, I’m not were I planned on being right now, but it could be very worse.
Nobody expected my progress to move so fat and be so good. Instead of complaining I should just thank God a million times for the chance I have been given. This has not just been a very scary and difficult time in my life, but I have learned a lot. I have to learn to embrace that. I can’t go on being angry, and I do believe that I was given this chance for a purpose. I don’t think ill ever know what it is, but I will find it eventually.