I am 6 months, going on 7, seizure free; but that doesn’t change the fact that I have epilepsy, and this is a very scary thing.  It’s the ongoing fear that you can have a seizure.

Today, at around 5 pm, I was really tired and I didn’t know why.  I had just finished tutoring a seventh grader and I was just waiting to go home, when I was feeling a little dizzy.  Maybe I was hungry, maybe I just needed dinner; or maybe I was just tired.  I have said it again, I respect teachers to much for what they do.  I cannot make it two hours doing what they do for more than 8 hours every day.

I sat down, I was still dizzy, I got home, I was still dizzy.  I kept trying to make sure I wasn’t having an aura.  My mom said I was ok because I was still making sense when I spoke, but I was still trying to keep my mind clear.  I was trying to fight it, if I had an aura.  I tried listening to music for a while, thinking about the article I read yesterday, just in case.  I ate cheese while I waited for dinner to be ready.  Then I ate dinner, but I was still kind of dizzy while I ate dinner.

After dinner I laid down in my bed and turned the lights off.  Maybe I just needed to rest.  I laid there for about half an hour, but I couldn’t sleep.  My mom came into the room, she was here with me for a little while, and I rested some more, until it was 8 pm.

Then it was 8 and my alarm went off.  I made it to 8 and I took my anti seizure medicine.


For a while I was scared I wouldn’t make it to 7 months, but it was nothing.  I guess I’m just tired, but you never know with epilepsy; one minute you’re seizure free, the next you’re not.

3 thoughts on “I fear the seizures

  1. Maria, I feel as you do. When I have experienced mine, I have never really been able to explain what was happening to me. I have just been painfully aware of the situation, as well as the excruciating pain of the post-ictal migraine headaches.


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