November 8, 2016

First I will say that as of yesterday I am I year and 7 months seizure free! Five months to go! There were other, more important things going on. Because of these, I did not get to celebrate this time, but it’s ok. I’m still recovering from what happened yesterday.

I woke up at 7:30 this morning and quickly checked my phone ready to see news about the historic day when a woman was finally elected as president of the United States. What I found just sent me running out of my room asking if it was true and sadly it was, she did not win. I couldn’t believe it, I was confused, angry, afraid, disappointed, and angrier.

I expressed my anger on Facebook seven consecutive times; one after the other. I tried not to think about it, but everywhere I looked there it was, another reminder that she is not our next president.

This is not supposed to happen, she is supposed to be the president, the first woman president. It’s about time a woman is president, or if it’s another man, not him.

I blame part of it on the electoral votes, it is their fault because she won the popular vote. Why doesn’t the person who people voted for wins? This doesn’t make any sense. Now we’re stuck with a thing that most people don’t want for four years.

I’m still angry and can’t believe it, but I’m dealing with it. Well… I have to deal with it. But this kind of ruins my plans for next year. I am going for my two years seizure free in 5 months, I was ready to go back to grad school in the states. Now I don’t know if that will be possible, maybe going back now may not be the best choice with the results of the elections.

I do everything I’m supposed to and my dream just keeps being taken away from me. Why? What have I done wrong? I’m ready,  I’m doing everything I can. Why does this keeps being taken away from me? What am I supposed to do?

Therapy, seizure control, work, you name it, but something keeps standing in my way; not that I feel like the world is against this. Am I not supposed to go? Will I ever get my chance?

Well, good always comes from the bad so hopefully this horrible mistake will bring good and positive changes. It all seems like four years of torture but four year go by really fast, believe me.