First memories of 2012

After i woke up from the coma, I was taken to a rehab center. When I left the rehab I couldn’t return home to Puerto Rico until I got surgery in my cranium again, so we went to my aunt’s house in New Jersey.  While I was in New Jersey I started writing everyday so I would not forget any of it.

Here are my first writings that summer.  I wrote this when I got the news I was going back to Syracuse for my Surgery. I am very glad the writer in me never left the building so i can remember what I was thinking through all of this and I can share it.

I have not changed anything or corrected any mistakes to show the impact all of this had on me and my writing.

Sunday, Sept. 9 2012

Im trying to make myself feel better about the accident I was in but its hard. I have lost a lot of weight. Second of all I don’t remember a lot of things that happened before the accident. I don’t remember the last two years, maybe more. I miss my old life. Every thing feels different. I mean its good to be out of the hospital but I miss my old life. I hate still being sick and I miss all the things ive left behind life my family and friends who I left behind. I also hate putting my family through this.

My mom is not working now to be here with me.   I hope my friends don’t get tired of waiting for me.

I just hope I get better soon and I can go back t my life.

 

Monday, Sept. 10 2012

I don’t remember most of the things that brought me here or things im supposed to remember but I want to. Everything seems new to me. I remember my whole family but not older things. I hope everything comes back to me. I also hope I don’t forget anything else. My mom told me today that she thought 6^th grade. I remember her teaching 1^st grade. Its all so confusing.

I hate not remembering stuff. Everything seems like its new even though its not.

 

Tuesday, Sept. 11 2012

I want this to end really fats. Its not fair. I want this to be over and fast. At least we got the news to go to the hospital for my surgery today. I hope that it all goes well and that we can go home fast. I miss it and everyone so much, my friends, my family. At lest ill get to see them soon. Im happy that this has given me the chance to stay with my aunt and uncle and 3 of my cousins. And they are so good to me.

I just want to be home so bad. I miss the people and the places so badly.

Although I have forgotten many things that I shouldn’t have. I hoe that I can remember them later.

 

Wednesday, Sept. 12 2012

I really want to have that surgery and I get to see my other family. Even my grand mother who just found out she has cancer. Shes getting it taken out this week and shes coming. I hope that every thing goes well. Thinking about this is kind of scary. I cant stop thinking about how my head will be opened and part of my brain will be put back in and get worried everyday. I wish none of this had happened to me. I had a good life and now I can barely remember most of it. Well I cant even remember my as two years. I got stuck in second year of college and I already graduated. I hope that all this comes back to me because I feel confused and lost.  

 

 

Saturday, sept 15 2012

Im worried and scared of the surgery. I really hope I make it. Its just scary to think about. I don’t want to be injured any more. Ive been through enough already. Its just scary. at least my family will be there. I just hope that the doctor does his best.  Its just scary.                                                                       

 

Monday, sept 17 2012

Two days ago my mom, my brother and I left my aunts house and came to Syracuse. It was kind of scary thinking about the surgery but its ok. Im scared but little by little its going away. We are now staying in a hotel but we are staying at a different one after tomorrow. We have also seen a little bit of campus and saw two of my friends. It was nice seeing them. Today I realized how much I miss them. My aunts are coming later this week. Its going to be nice seeing them again.