What not to say to a brain injury survivor

I never know how to react to certain situations, or how to respond to things people tell me. But as I read in this article, 6 things you should never say to a brain injury survivor, people say the wrong things to a lot of brain injury survivors. This list includes most of those situations or comments, and here are my reactions to them, because I have been told all of these.

• You are lucky to be alive

I’m not here because I’m lucky; if I was lucky I wouldn’t have been in that accident, so don’t tell me I’m lucky to be alive. That wasn’t luck, I haven’t left anything up to luck, I have not stopped fighting and being stronger than I ever thought I could be, but luck has never been a part of it.

• I wish I didn’t have to go to work

Nobody should say that in today’s economy, to anyone, but being able to afford things is just such a great feeling, don’t take it for granted. I spent years trying to pay my loans, not that I can, I feel like I’m on top of the world.

• You don’t look sick

Being sick is not only having a fever, runny nose, or sneezing. I have to take six pills everyday to control my epilepsy; I have a hard time concentrating. There are things that weren’t challenging before, but are very challenging now. They cannot be seen, but they’re there.

• You just need to try harder

I don’t need to try harder, I’m trying as hard as I can, and it’s exhausting.

• Let me do that for you

I can do it, at my pace, but I can do it. Just give me some time.

• Stop being so difficult, let’s go do something

I’m not being difficult; I sometimes just turn conversations around me off, if it’s too much for me. I can’t handle too much information too fast. If I can’t handle that much information, I just shut down. I don’t do it on purpose; it’s just too much for me. If there is too much noise or other things going on, it’s hard to deal with all the noise.

A few weeks ago I was at a very full beach, and I felt so uncomfortable with some many people talking and walking around near us. I wanted to go somewhere else. Dealing with all that took me hours.

But I’m ok, I just need patience and understanding.